As a child, it was NOT your responsibility to…

As a child, it was NOT your responsibility to

1. Step up to fill in the shoes of your absent parent or caregiver, especially in emotional support, providing comfort and understanding during stress or sadness.
2. Be your parents’ therapist or social companion, especially when they discuss details about one parent’s relationship with the other parent. (You were the intermediary.)
3. Regulating the emotions of the adults around you or comforting and reassuring them during a crisis.
4. Parenting your parents.
5. Raising your siblings, keeping the house clean or maintained, paying bills, or grocery shopping.
6. Fulfilling your parent’s lost dreams. This is a prevalent scenario in sports.
7. Keeping dangerous secrets for a loved one.

When a person is a parentified child, they often take on the caretaker role not just for their parents but for everyone around them, even outside of the home. They often overwork themselves, frequently pushing themselves to exhaustion to meet academic or work expectations.  As children, the parentified child is usually emotionally disconnected from their age group, causing a struggle to connect with peers their age because they feel more comfortable in the company of adults.

If you were a parentified child, you were forced to assume responsibilities far too large for your age, switching roles with your parents rather than enjoying your childhood. You may even be ashamed of enjoying child-like things like having teddy bears, plushies, or Lego sets. Essentially, you were robbed of your childhood.