Burnt Out from Caring Too Much – Compassion Fatigue

Emily was a devoted social worker who had spent years helping families navigate difficult times. Every day, she listened empathetically to stories of hardship and trauma, offering support wherever she could. Over time, the weight of these stories began to take a toll on her spirit. She noticed she was becoming emotionally exhausted, less patient, and more distant from her loved ones. One afternoon, after feeling overwhelmed by a client’s situation, she left her work mid-shift and went to the bar.

Compassion fatigue is the emotional and physical exhaustion that comes from constantly over-reaching or over-helping others in distress. It is when you feel too overwhelmed by caring, because you just cared too much for everyone but yourself.

What Is Compassion Fatigue?

Compassion fatigue is a form of burnout that affects individuals who spend significant time empathizing with others’ suffering, often to the neglect of their own. Anyone can experience it, from caregivers to parents to healthcare workers, teachers, social works, empathetic friends and family members.

Signs and Symptoms

• Emotional Exhaustion: You feel drained and overwhelmed by the needs of others.
• Reduced Empathy: Difficulty connecting with others’ feelings or becoming indifferent. You just can’t force yourself to care.
• Irritability: Increased frustration or impatience with those you care for.
• Withdrawal: Avoiding social interactions or responsibilities, because feeling other’s emotions is too overwhelming and you feel you may burst.
• You may also experience physical symptoms such as headaches, sleep disturbances, or changes in appetite (eating too much or too little).

I’m Exhausted and I Feel Terrible

The compassion you extend to others now has to be redirected toward you. It’s ok to admit that you are feeling overwhelmed – everyone has limits to how much they can give. Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s essential to your own mental well-being and survivability.

After all, it’s your first lifetime as a human, give yourself grace and compassion that you care so much. Acknowledge yourself and your emotions without judgement.

Practical Ways to Manage Compassion Fatigue

1. Withdraw. If you need to curl up and be a turtle because life is overwhelming, then absolutely withdraw from the world. Your social and personal battery is your own, and only you can manage it.
2. Set boundaries and say no, especially when you are feeling stretched thin. It will be scary saying no, especially if you are a people pleaser.
3. Get angry/emotional. Feel the emotions that you feel, and let them out safely. This can be done through music, writing, art, or any kind of physical activity or meditation. It’s ok to need to go to a rage room or take a spa day for yourself.
4. Talk to someone, professional help or a trusted person. Can’t afford either or don’t want to? That’s ok, write in a journal, rip the piece of paper out, and burn it (safely, so you don’t burn your apartment down).
5. Balance giving and receiving, and since you’ve been giving so much, you’re exhausted, it’s time to learn to receive.

Caring for others is a noble and compassionate, but only if your cup is full. Compassion fatigue occurs because you’ve drained your cup, rather from giving from overflow. It is a sign that you need time to replenish your emotional and physical resources, acknowledge your feelings, set healthy boundaries and remember you matter, too.

Be gentle with yourself. It’s ok to ask for help. You’re not superman/woman, and you would not want to be anyway.,