“Your mind will believe comforting lies while also knowing the painful truths that make those lies necessary. And your mind will punish you for believing both.” – Patrick Ness
Painful truths challenges our perception of reality, because it forces us to confront what we deny, avoid, or are unwilling to face about ourselves, our relationships, and our environment. When we sit with our emotions, we can process these painful truths, and allow ourselves to heal from the subconscious self-sabotage that has been interfering with our entire lives.
9 Painful Truths and Their Real Meaning
- I am afraid of failure and hold myself back.
I don’t want to leave my friends/family/loved ones behind because I know they won’t be able to keep up with me. - I don’t believe I deserve success or happiness.
I feel unworthy of happiness or success, because I was punished for being happy or when something good came my way. - Expressing my emotions is pointless.
I don’t like being vulnerable because being vulnerable means I am weak, and when I am weak, I get hurt/punished. - I need to be approved by those around me.
I am insecure in my self-worth because I was constantly belittled and gaslit growing up that my opinion does not matter; only my parents/caregiver/authority figure’s opinion matters. - I sacrifice myself and my needs to keep others happy.
I abandon myself to prove to others that I am worthy of not being abandoned. - I pretend to be someone I’m not.
I suffered a great deal as a child being who I am and was punished for it, so now I will mask and pretend, so I don’t get hurt again, i.e., I act extroverted when all I want to do is live in the forest with a bunch of animals. - I can’t forgive myself.
If I forgive myself, I have to accept that I was wrong and that I am indeed worthy of good things happening to and for me. - I have been holding onto grudges.
I don’t want to lose the only connection I have to this person, even if this connection causes me extreme suffering. - I’m in a relationship I know is bad for me/is toxic.
If I save this person from themselves, I will be able to save the piece of me/my mother/father that I lost and finally feel worthy again.
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