Disassociation

Disassociation is a deeply personal and often misunderstood coping mechanism in response to trauma, stress, or overwhelming emotions by detaching yourself from your current experience or reality so as to not overwhelm your nervous system and body even more. It is your body and mind’s way of protecting you from any further overwhelm when reality feels unbearable. Consider disassociation as a shield that your nervous system puts up when it can no longer handle the pain, chaos or fear.

As defined by the The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition (DSM-5),  is a “disruption, interruption, and/or discontinuity of the normal, subjective integration of behavior, memory, identity, consciousness, emotion, perception, body representation, and motor control”. In simpler terms, disassociation not only affects your consciousness, but can affect the very essence of who you are, how you think, how you feel, and how you perceive your surroundings (Sar, 2014). You may deal with amnesia, depersonalization, derealization, identity confusion, and identity alteration, while others may also feel distant, fragmented, and watching their life unfold like a distant observer (Sar, 2014).

Disassociation often goes hand-in-hand with conditions such as cPTSD and PTSD.

How it feels to disassociate

You may have a single symptom or multiple symptoms of disassociation, but to each person, dissociation can manifest differently.

• You might feel as if you are watching yourself from the outside, as though you’re living in a movie or a dream, unable to fully connect to the moment.
• Your body may not feel like your own—it can seem distant, strange, or unreal.
• Memories might come and go, leaving gaps in your sense of continuity, making it feel as though time has been “lost” or fractured.
• You might feel emotionally numb, disconnected from feelings that would normally move you. Even moments that should bring joy, fear, or sadness may pass by without stirring the emotions you know you would otherwise feel.
• Confusion about your identity or experiencing multiple, shifting versions of yourself might arise, leading to a sense of self-estrangement or even a feeling of “possession.”
• Conversations and interactions can fade from memory as though they never happened, leaving you to wonder how you ended up in certain situations.

Disassociation is not a choice

It is the body’s way of surviving experiences that feel too overwhelming or painful to process in real-time, creating distance to shield you from the intensity of the trauma you endured. This may feel disorienting or isolating when returning “back to the present.”

Dissociative Disorders

While not part of this post, for reference, the DSM-5 has 5 dissociative disorders (DD) as described by Loewenstein (2018) :

1. Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID): Experiencing two or more distinct identities or personality states.
2. Dissociative Amnesia (DA): An inability to recall important information, usually about traumatic events.
3. Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder (DPDRD): Persistent feelings of being detached from one’s body or environment.
4. Other Specified Dissociative Disorders (OSDD): Dissociative symptoms that don’t fully meet the criteria for the other disorders.
5. Unspecified Dissociative Disorder (UDD): When the symptoms don’t fit into a specific category but still involve dissociation.

For many individuals with chronic dissociation, these experiences can intertwine with other mental health conditions like borderline personality disorder (BPD) or complex PTSD. People may also experience feelings of possession—a phenomenon sometimes tied to dissociation when an individual feels as though another entity is taking control, often linked to severe trauma.

A preliminary study by Sar et al. (2014) even found a correlation between trauma in women and experiences of possession and paranormal phenomena, further highlighting the intense psychological toll that trauma can take on an individual’s perception of reality (Read about the study here: https://doi.org/10.1080/15299732.2013.849321)

References

American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM-5. 5 ed. Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Press. 2013