What it means to “sit with your emotions”

“Sitting with your emotions” means allowing yourself to fully experience and acknowledge your feelings without immediately trying to suppress, change, or escape them. It can be a painful, uncomfortable process that involves observing and accepting your emotions as they are, without judgment or resistance, and permitting yourself to feel whatever arises. If you are angry, you accept that you are angry and allow yourself to feel angry; if you are sad, you accept that you are sad, and allow yourself to feel sad.

Why should we sit with our emotions?

Emotions are your body’s way of communicating with you. Sitting with your emotions allows you to build a healthier relationship with not just your emotions, but also your body; and provides space to process and understand both.

How to Sit with Your Emotions:

1. Acknowledge the Emotion: The first step is to recognize and name your emotion. Sometimes, we may not even have a name for the emotion, just a feeling. This can be harder than it sounds, especially if the emotion feels overwhelming or uncomfortable. Whether it’s sadness, anger, fear, or joy, simply identifying the emotion is a powerful way to begin the process.
2. Allow Yourself to Feel: Let yourself feel the emotion without judgment. If you’re angry, feel the heat in your chest. If you’re sad, feel the weight in your heart. Resisting the feeling might prolong the discomfort. Allowing yourself to feel it fully can eventually lead to release or understanding.
3. Be Present with the Emotion: Instead of rushing to distract yourself or “fix” the feeling, sit with it. You might notice physical sensations associated with the emotion, such as tightness, restlessness, or warmth. Focus on these sensations without trying to change them.
4. Breathe Through It: Deep breathing can help you stay grounded while sitting with your emotions. Breathing slowly through your nose and exhaling through your mouth can calm the nervous system and help you stay present.
5. Avoid Labeling Yourself: It’s important not to attach labels like “I am sad” or “I am angry” to your identity. Instead, recognize that these emotions are temporary experiences you’re going through. You are not your emotions—they are just part of being human.
6. Practice Nonjudgment: Try not to criticize yourself for feeling a certain way. Sometimes, we resist or suppress emotions because we feel guilty for having them or because we believe we “shouldn’t” feel them. Allow yourself the grace to feel whatever arises, knowing that all emotions are valid and part of your human experience.
7. Give Yourself Time: Emotions don’t always resolve immediately. Be patient and allow yourself to feel and reflect as long as necessary. Sometimes, just sitting in silence with your emotions for a few minutes is enough to begin the process of understanding and release.
8. Observe Without Reacting: Try to observe the emotion like an outsider. Notice how it shifts in intensity or changes shape. Avoid reacting to the emotion with impulsive actions or thoughts. For example, sit with the anger and notice its patterns and triggers rather than lashing out if you’re angry.
9. Reflect After the Experience: After you’ve sat with your emotions for a while, reflect on the experience. Ask yourself questions like: What was I feeling? What triggered this emotion? How did my body respond? What do I need in this moment—comfort, action, understanding? Reflection helps you learn from your emotional experiences and grow in emotional intelligence.