Derealisation/Derealization-Depersonalization

Depersonalization and derealization (abbreviated as D-D or DD) can be an extremely overwhelming and distressing experience, where you feel disconnected or detached from yourself and the world around you (Yang et al., 2023). It’s as though you are observing your own life from a distance, and the world outside seems unreal or distorted, leaving you emotionally numb and trapped in a fog. Depersonalization and derealization generally together, and you will often see it described as depersonalization-derealization disorder (DDD). While triggered by many factors, DD is a coping mechanism in response to severe trauma, abuse, childhood neglect, overwhelming stress, or life-threatening situations.

What is depersonalization?

Depersonalization is a profound sense of disconnection from your personal identity, feeling as if you’re observing your own thoughts, actions, emotions, and bodily sensations from outside your body—almost like you’re a spectator to your own life (Murphy, 2023). It’s as if you are detached from your physical self, watching your movements and feelings from a distance. You may wonder, “Is this really me?” or feel that you are not in control of your body or emotions. It’s as if you felt here, but not really “here”. This detachment can make it difficult to relate to yourself or recognize your own thoughts and experiences as being part of your identity.

For example, you might be talking to a loved one but feel as if you’re hearing your own voice from far away, as though the words are not yours. Simple actions, such as moving your hands or walking, may feel mechanical or foreign, leading to the unnerving sensation that you’re not truly inhabiting your body. You may even see your limbs weirdly or distorted.

What is derealization?

Derealization, on the other hand, affects your perception of the external world. It’s as if the environment around you has lost its familiarity and substance, it feels “dreamlike, empty, lifeless, or visually  distorted” (Adler  et al., 2014). Your surroundings may feel strange, dreamlike, or distant, making the world seem “empty” or “lifeless.” It’s not that you believe the world isn’t real—you know it is—but it feels distorted, almost like you’re viewing everything through a hazy lens.

For example, a room you’ve been in hundreds of times might suddenly feel foreign and unfamiliar. The people around you might appear like cardboard cutouts, and the sounds you hear could seem muffled or distant. You might describe your world as “flat” or “unreal,” making it hard to stay grounded in the present.

How does depersonalization-derealization feel?

You may experience depersonalization-derealization as:

• like you’ve “split off” or “checked out” from your own self and consciousness, disassociating from painful memories (persistent disembodiment)
• detachment from your surroundings, like you’re floating or drunk without actually drinking or taking any substances
• emotional numbness or emotional detachment (deaffectualizaton) to thinks that you used to enjoy or moved you deeply
• an unsettling feeling that important memories or personal values no longer belong to you, causing an existential panic where you may question your very existence or reality

An “episode” may last from hours to days, and can be secondary to other psychiatric conditions, such as borderline personality disorder (BPD), obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), major depressive disorder (MDD), or others (Murphy, 2023).

Experiencing an Episode

An “episode” of depersonalization-derealization can last anywhere from a few hours to several days. During these episodes, daily tasks can feel impossible, as you’re constantly battling the feeling that you’re not truly present. You may feel like you’re going through life on autopilot, unable to fully engage with others or the world around you.

It’s important to recognize that these episodes are often secondary to other psychiatric conditions, such as borderline personality disorder (BPD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), major depressive disorder (MDD), or severe anxiety (Murphy, 2023). The dissociation may emerge as a way to protect you from the intense emotions that accompany these conditions, acting as the mind’s defense mechanism to cope with overwhelming stress or trauma.

It’s not just “feeling out of it” or “zoning out”

Depersonalization and derealization are deepy unsettling experiences that can make you feel as though you are losing or have lost a sense of self and reality. This can be isolating and frightening, especially when others may not understand or know how to help. Please remember that this is your mind’s way of protecting itself from pain or trauma. Depersonalization-derealization are not signs of weakness, and yes, you can reconnect back to yourself.

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